This is the season for creating. I get quiet and introspective. My hands yearn to create. While the weather is getting more tumultuous and impressive I am gaining a desire to push forward and inspire myself. I want to crack things open, get my feet wet…bust through any preconceived notions I still have rattling around inside. Both of my children were conceived in the Fall.
While I’d love to get all wrapped up in the holidays this year, something inside of me has marked this year as a political enveloping. There doesn’t seem to be much room for the bits and bobbles of the marketed season. I want to document history. I want to take some outstanding photos for my children to look back on when they’re adults.
I want to seize that core of myself. The fighter. The raw.
Barack, you’ve so inspired me. And my heart is swelling to accept and witness a president that I actually believe in. Please, please win this election.
Yesterday was Wendy’s birthday, which meant a photography shoot to celebrate. The weather was crisp and clear and we started in the Fremont neighborhood. I’ve noticed that I’ve become more discerning about the photos I take lately. I spend more time looking at things and I only spend a few frames per subject/location. I think this has actually improved my photography greatly.
This week: I’ve been reveling in the smells of Autumn. Burning firewood at night, apples and cinnamon cooking almost every day, and crisp cold Autumn air with the almost physical scent of colored leaves. And we’re nearing the end of our week of colds.
Aidie and I have been following a long and winding path to school. As a baby I knew that he had a lot of fire, a huge amount of brilliance, and something not quite “normal” going on. We struggled with trying to understand why parenting techniques and behavior nurturing wasn’t working like it should. We chalked it up to him being extra stubborn.
(Francis Room - Kennedy School)
I’m starting to realize something, about the paths we take. I really feel as if Aidie is helping me grow as much as I’m helping him grow. As if the path I took to get to this point, even with the all the dips and valleys…it really was leading me here. He is giving me the necessity to move past the present and adjust my gaze firmly on the horizon. How am I going to change my vision of the world? What do I assume about the present based on the past? How many ways can I break out of the built-in black and white assumption of reality? How do I let go and trust in myself?
These are the things I think about as Aidie’s mother. These are the things I may have never learned about myself without him.
(Aidie and Hi Ho Cherrio)
Last week Aidie came to me with broken self esteem. He is always sensing his short-falls with conformity. Let’s face it, the world we live in was not set up for the little kids like him. He faces rejection quite a bit and it tends to take its toll on his self esteem. So I did something crazy. I got in the car with him on Thursday morning, with a bag of games and books, and the clothes on our back, and I started driving. We ended up in a familiar place to him. The Kennedy School is a magical place for adults and children. I made the reservation on the way down…
(The Balloon Man)
While there a lady pulled me aside and told me she simply had to let me know that he was gifted. I nodded my head, “Yes. I know. We love him very much.” But she pressed on. “No, I’m here to tell you. He’s smarter. Don’t you ever let them push him down, because they’ll try. But they need to work for him. You need to be a fighter. Look at him (Aidie singing a song and humming around the McMenamins worker in the lobby who was enamored with him).”
This lady, a person so blatantly meant to be on my path last week, went on to talk with me for 15 minutes or so in the lobby. Telling me she was a retired school teacher of almost 40 years, and she had her youngest daughter like Aidie. Incredibly smart, but active and more engaged with the subject. A hyper-focuser. Someone people tried to make sit down and behave.
This lady, I’m convinced, along with being a retired teacher, and a warm smile, was a seasoned spirit lifter, and I will forever remember the difference between the Stacia walking into that trip with Aidie, and the Stacia walking out. I was literally handed an invisible, invaluable gift.
(Courtyard Restaurant - 3 Dollar Breakfast)
(Chalk Board in the Room)
(Robot Game in Alberta Arts District)
So here we are, our feet planted firmly on our paths. And we are very aware lately of our journey we are taking.
I stopped many times on my way out of Ellensburg. It was mid-day which made shooting somewhat futile, but there was so much to picture. I stopped at a small bodega and bought some sweet tea, some index cards and a sharpie and wrote a letter in the parking lot with the car and the AC running. I stopped along the highway, I stopped in a field, I stopped at motels…
One day I will tell the story of Wendy and I. One day we’ll become a series of stories, old friends steady and deliberate…a quiet progression of intention and comfort. She is constant and richer every bit of lengthy time that goes by. The kind of person you don’t worry about changing with.
This was taken June 5 2008 at Old Time Alehouse in Ballard, WA. Me accompanying Wendy while she greeted some of the the messier parts of her past. This is her talking right at it.
My name is Stacia Weller. Pip and Tom is currently a place to share my photography, along with the occasional crafting adventure.
All photographs and content are original unless noted. Please do not use without permission.
Nice mail received at pipandtom(at)gmail(dot)com.
